AQUAMAN HITS HIS TV
There isn’t much need for Aquaman anymore;
he is kind of washed up, a has-been.
The Navy and Coast Guard have come of age.
Also, there are younger superheroes,
with better masks, unitards, and capes.
He never married and lives alone in a small apartment
paid for by the government as compensation for his service.
No one recognizes him on the streets anymore,
even when he goes out in full uniform seeking attention;
people just think he’s mentally ill and pass by.
One small child confused him with Iron Man.
He tried Match.com but his first two dates never showed up.
He tried Jdate but no one responded to his emails.
He tries to volunteer and help the police,
but in Manhattan, there’s little need to link telepathically to fish.
He often goes to the community pool to show off;
submerging under water for hours at a time,
waiting for someone to notice his powers.
But even the lifeguards ignore him.
At night, he watches sea-related documentaries
and writes threatening emails to oil companies.
He orders food from China Fun restaurant.
He’s overweight and has a drinking problem.
Usually found in super green underwear and yellow flip flops,
he gets off the sofa and hits his TV when it fritzes out.
--Published in PKA's Advocate